Children and the Eucharist: should they partake?
As a child in an evangelical church, when it came time for “Communion” (which happened once a month, if that, mind you), the plates passed me by. I was told that I was not “allowed” to partake because I was a child. As I grew older, I suddenly became allowed to partake in the Lord’s Supper. I quickly learned that I wasn’t allowed to partake as a child because children simply don’t understand what it’s about, that is, remembering Christ’s death for our sins, but now I did.
I’m not sure I ever thought twice about this. I would say to myself, “Of course, children are immature, and they don’t understand a lot of things, so why would they understand Christ’s death remembered at Communion?”
However, I recently began to question the logic behind this thought. I mean, seriously, how well enough do I understand Christ’s death anyway? It wasn’t until about a month ago when I visited a mainline church in downtown Philadelphia that the error in this logic became more concrete for me. As Amanda and I approached the table, I noticed a small child taking the wafer (now drenched in wine), placing in her mouth, and eating it.
I’ve never seen that before…
But I thought to myself, in God’s eyes, I am just little child. I’m immature. I don’t have complete knowledge. I still miss the mark.
I mean, I’ve read the passage in 1 Corinthians about the Lord’s Supper, and I’ve always assumed that children were excluded. But, as far as I can tell, the exclusion of children from the Lord’s Supper is an argument from silence. And, as far as I know, the Orthodox, Roman Catholic Church, and the Anglican Communion do not exclude children from the table. So why do we evangelicals?
Some would say, “Well…they have to be believers, and you can’t become a believer unless you are able to comprehend the commitment you are making.” That’s fine. But where does Paul say that? Paul is more concerned with people treating Communion lightly, and, as far I’m concerned (and this is somewhat beside the point), taking the Lord’s Supper once a month or once in-awhile is more of treating it lightly than allowing children to partake (actually, in the Orthodox church, if you miss a number in-a-row, you excommunicate yourself…bummer).
Plus, don’t we want our children to know what’s important to us? And isn’t Communion? So, perhaps, children should participate in the Eucharist (in some way) so that they will see what’s important to the covenant body, that is, remembering Christ’s death until he comes. I know some parents who give it to their children, and I know others who simply have their children at the table with them as they partake.
Either way, Communion/Eucharist/Lord’s Supper is incredibly important. It shouldn’t be taken lightly. And this is a reason for having children partake rather than against it. For we, who as a community desire to help raise these children in the ways of Christ, are responsible for showing them that we all need to remember Christ’s death until he comes…children included.
So what do you think?
When did this become Everyday Liturgy? Kidding, kidding.
I connect with this mentality since it was what I was born into. I’m not sure the elders in the church I grew up in ever said this, but from what I understood during my adolescents was that the Lord’s Supper was sooo special that children couldn’t understand it. It inferred that there was a time and place where you could understand it but that was never defined. Which is weird because pretty much everything else is defined.
To me, the irony was that all these churches have kids who “get saved” (not doubting their encounter with God, just quoting our terminology) at age 5 but they couldn’t partake in communion til they got their driver’s permit (yes, I’m exaggerating).
In my present church, I’m encouraged that as a leadership we have encouraged our families to work through that. Many throughout our church encourage their children to partake. It’s interesting to me because I happen to be pastoring in the same denomination now that I was raised in.
I grew up with a little bit of both. I was baptized in the Lutheran church and did not partake of the Eucharist until after my confirmation (middle school).
In the Eastern Orthodox Church I partook of the Eucharist as a baby upon baptism.
I never considered that either was “right” or “wrong” - perhaps because in both traditions, the emphasis was till on the centrality of the Eucharist in our life in Christ. I just saw them as different expressions - I am not sure if it matters whether you see the Eucharist as the actual body and blood of Christ (EOC) or a symbol of his awesome sacrifice (Lutheran). While the expression of this call from Christ manifested itself differently in various confessions, I think the motivation of either expression comes from the same place - desire to glorify God and commemorate Christ’s sacrifice to the fullest.
Just to clarify, Latin rite (Roman) Catholics require Confirmation before a child can receive the Eucharist… I’m not sure, but I believe the same is true in the Anglican Church, but I think some eastern rites practice Communion for children.
I am astonished, completely astonished, by the one-communion-per-month mentality, and knowing that some churches practice even less frequently is simply mind-boggling. The message of communion is the centerpiece of our whole faith. I recently read that the disciples on the road to Emmaus didn’t recognize Jesus when he was explaining himself to them, but finally, when Christ broke the bread, their eyes were opened and they knew him. The best theologian is the one who, searching for Christ, receives the broken body and blood. We all are nothing but children, and we make children less a part of the family of God by denying them the eye-opening supper… my thoughts.
@Bean
Yes, but you can be a child, right?
And yes, communion is underappreciated in many evangelical circles, and it’s mind-boggling (to say, the least).
Similarly growing up I was not allowed to take communion. my parents did explain the reasons for abstaining to me though indicating that when I was older we would discuss it to ensure I was fully aware of the process. Truthfully I don’t remember how old I was when I first partook. I’m not totally sure where I stand in terms of the child taking communion discussion. Personally when/if we are blessed with children, I would like them to be able to articulate, when asked, 1) the reason for Communion and 2) the symbolism behind the sacrament before participating.
I’ve been lurking, and as a formation director in an Episcopal church, this post is (naturally?) the one that propels me to enter the conversation.
I was raised in a similar tradition - infrequent communion of which children are not “allowed” to partake. As I recall, the decision was ultimately left up to me sometime in my middle school years - you can take communion if you feel you are ready. I distinctly remember not knowing what “being ready” entailed - and thus letting the plate pass me by for several years.
Now, as I am directing children’s programs, I have really enjoyed reading the work of Jerome Berryman, developer of the Godly Play curriculum. His work is based on the belief that children are in a unique place where they have not yet learned the constructs that cause us, as adults, to separate “sacred” and “secular” - by this view, children are in a place where they understand the Eucharist better than any adult - in a way that is beyond their ability to explain or articulate.
That said, in our church, children (confirmed or not) typically take the bread but not the wine - mostly, I am sure, because it is wine.
This does seem like an Everyday Liturgy post…
I was brought up going forward and receiving a blessing from the priest until my parents decided I could participate in communion. I was taking communion by the time I was 10 or 11.
I generally think it is best for the church to never refuse communion accept for disciplinary reasons, and therefore to let the parents, as guardians of their family, to decide when a child can partake of communion. I do think that a more formal confirmation process makes this kind of decision a lot easier for a church though.
I grew up taking communion as a child in the Methodist church. My husband grew up Lutheran where it was strictly controlled, so we had some interesting discussions when our children approached the possibility. After some research, I see it as a personal choice. My church actually encourages children to participate with their families in this holy sacrament. They offer an annual workshop specifically for families to learn about communion, and they bring the children in from Sunday School to join the rest of the congregation in the Eucharist. We are all children in God’s eyes, and regardless of how educated we are, we can’t fully understand this holy mystery. While I wrestled with it at first, it has really been a beautiful, holy way to experience this as a family. Nothing can replace the wonder of a child, who can often approach it with more reverence than many adults.
Yeah. Communion and kids. Parental choice. Why? Because they’re the prime spiritual influences. I can understand why children wouldn’t participate, but I wouldn’t preclude a child from coming. After all, communion is a celebration of Christ’s death and resurrection. If a kid can understand Easter, they can get communion. It’s like a birthday party of sorts.
But what if the parents aren’t involved? Well, in my experience, most kids that are able to make ‘true profession of faith’ (i.e. they live the life) without their parents involvement are pretty advanced and committed to their faith and deserving of communion (more so than me).
Meh. My two cents on your great reflection, Evan.
I’m a little late responding to this post, but here’s something to consider— In my Mennonite upbringing, for a long time, we reserved participation in communion for adult believers only. Then, in the last decade, we started to provide grapes and crackers for children to partake of, as a way to be inclusive and allow them to begin learning about the ritual. While at first, this sounds like a wonderful way to teach and include children, it’s actually pretty exclusive.
As a youth pastor, I was frustrated by the whole “grapes and crackers for the kids” thing. It marginalized the teenagers… those who had not yet decided to make their confession of faith and be baptized, anyway. What were they supposed to do? Take the grapes and crackers like a little kid or be part of the isolated few who couldn’t participate in the ritual at all????? I hated it. Please, on behalf of teens who often feel left out and marginalized anyway, do one or the other… let everyone partake of the actual communion elements or ask that all congregants wait to participate until they have been baptized or confirmed.
[...] Curry asks the question when should children take communion on his blog Promise and [...]